Category Archives: Relationship

How to Use a Dynamic Relationship

If you have the man of your dreams in your midst and you are about to become an exclusive couple you will want the relationship to last -will you not? But with so many marriages ending in divorce and the prevailing wind that marriage isn’t for life anyway, what can you do to make sure that your dream relationship of one month lasts and is still your dream relationship of 20 years?

The big picture is to think of building your relationship on solid ground- have this as your outcome and it will help to dictate and shape your future decisions.

As you have that picture for your relationship the next thing is to devise your own rules and boundaries.
Ask yourself and then your partner about boundaries. For instance, what is a deal breaker- i.e. what is it you both could do that is grounds for immediate divorce? Is that having an affair? Is it having a one night stand? What about gambling? Or partying? And a biggy- working away or working long hours?

Whatever that deal breaker is for you make sure you know it, communicate it to him and he has to do the same with you.

How do you want to be treated? Of course you are going to say with love and respect and other similar things, but what would that look like on a day to day basis? Work out what that is and communicate that to your partner making sure you get his as well.

How are you going to resolve your differences? Are you the type to manipulate to get your own way? Are you the type to pretend everything is fine but find things in the future to use against him? Whatever you pattern is here, talk about it now and make a pact to do something that won’t threaten the relationship?

What about mind games if you don’t feel loved? What I mean is, some women and men can resort to trying to make the other one jealous if they don’t feel they are being cared for enough. What happens with you? What would make you resort to such behaviour? Once you know this let your partner know that you really need and want to be shown love in whatever ways they are for you because otherwise you’ll feel insecure.

And lastly what about time, fun, togetherness and connection? How important do these feature in your marriage? And is this the same for your partner? You need to talk this out as over time most other things can be forgiven but having a marriage where you have no fun, there is no connection, you don’t spend time together is not a marriage and you know it will end in divorce.

So get your relationship off to a great start by building it on solid ground right from the start by taking you and your partner through this dynamic and relationship saving process, and you will have a marriage that lasts.

Secret to Create the Relationship of Your Dreams

Do you want to know the #1 secret to create the relationship of your dreams?

There is a secret that no one shares. And I am going to tell you that secret right now…

You do not create the relationship of your dreams.

You got it backwards. You don’t go looking for the relationship. You start with you. How is your relationship with you?

Until you love yourself first and the best relationship in your whole life is the one you have with you right now you will not be able to find that partner with whom you can create happiness. Will not happen!

If you are not in love with you then why in the world would anyone else want to fall in love with you? If you are not happy spending time alone with you-without distractions like radio or television-how could you offer someone else joy in your presence?

If you really want to find the person with whom you can spend the rest of your life in happiness then write a list, a detailed list, of who that person is, how that person is, what that person likes and does. In other words, describe your dream mate-on paper. Do not use a computer. Write with your hand using a pencil or pen and paper.

Seriously, you gotta do this or you will never find that perfect relationship for you.

Okay. Now that you have your list, realize the only way to attract that person is for you to become exactly like that person (with the exception of gender).

You know that you attract who you are because The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. Become the person you want to be with and that person will magically appear in your world-at precisely the best time for you.

What are you waiting for? Do it now or you never will.

Warning: Do not neglect the above exercise! Be sure to take this advice seriously if you want to create your dream relationship and live in happiness.

Three Steps to Your Dream Relationship

Do you want to settle down with one guy and just make commit to you? Why are guys so afraid of a monogamous and permanent relationship? Is there anything you can do to change the dynamic of your dating life and start a long-term relationship? Before you throw in the towel, try out these three steps with your guy and you will be able to make him commit.

1. Take away his fear.

Some guys are just afraid to establish any kind of permanency because of what they’ve experienced in their own lives while witnessing their parents’ marriage. You need to alleviate his fears and let him know how you are different, without directly telling him. You can let him know by your actions and by your offhand comments.

For example, he might think that you will gain a lot of weight after getting married and having children. You can counteract this fear by being committed to exercise and letting him see your ability to stay fit. Also, you can make a comment about how you want to stay active throughout your life and always stay in shape.

2. Let himexperience the rewards of a relationship with you.

By sending him love notes, keeping your abode clean and organized, and eating great meals; he will know that a life with you would be full of benefits. Even little errands that he has to do that you can handle for him will illustrate the convenience that comes with having a partner to go through life with. You can make him commit to you when you fully display the positives that are attached to being your boyfriend.

3. Make time apart.

Another way for him to fully comprehend how wonderful life with you would be is to give yourself time apart every now and then; it is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Take any chance you can to go on a trip with friends, head home to visit family, or volunteer for a work assignment out of town.

Not only will you reap the benefits of a more fulfilled life, your guy will feel what his life is like when you’re not around. Hopefully, it won’t be as fun and exciting as his life with you. Be careful not to let him think anything is wrong or that you are unhappy with the relationship, but rather let him know that you just want to go and keep up with other friends and family in your life.

Relationship Advice For Women

Women can come as both experts and rookies in the relationship department. Men can also be very unpredictable and you have to bear that during the course of the relationship. Dealing with men in your relationship is bitter and sweet.

Below are some tips that can help a woman with her relationship. Read through and get to know the things that you need to consider:

He looks at other women.
You might be having dinner and you caught him looking at a woman who passed by your table. The first thing to do is to not pick a fight. Men look at women the same way women look at a beautiful flower or a lovely dress. Men are visual beings so expect that whenever a beautiful woman passes, his head will automatically tilt.

He needs his own time.
Being in relationship should not hinder your quality time alone or with family and friends. Remember that even if the two of you are together, it doesn’t mean that you are so fused together that you can’t go your separate ways anymore. He needs to do some things on his own. Provide him his personal space.

He doesn’t call.
Do not start to nag or call him every hour asking why he hasn’t called. There are just times that he doesn’t want to be bothered. Just like the time when you got mad at him because he’s ruining your shopping time. And remember that he has a job to attend to, right? Let him do his job without having to bother him by the hour.

He is quiet.
You know by now that men are not necessarily experts in communicating. So why wonder why he is not talking to you? Your partner is not your girl friend so stop expecting him to be like one. Sometimes he’s just quiet and there is nothing wrong, so stop asking him.

He solves his problems on his own.
When a man encounters a problem, he needs to solve it on his own. Sharing a problem is not his nature. When he has a problem he wants to silently retrieve to his cave and solve it. When he has solved it, then he would come out and proudly share his success.

He wants to be successful.
Being successful is important for any man because it brings prestige, status, and power. The more he is successful, the more he will feel his manhood.

He wants to be Superman.
Yes, he wants to do the manly things by himself, so allow him. A man needs to boost his ego by doing the things that they think only men can do.

Good Relationships

Does seeing happy couple together makes you wish that it is you and your partner? Have you been searching for that missing piece in your relationship with your partner? Are you wondering of what makes good relationships between couples?

Building good relationships that you can always cherish requires a deep understanding of what makes a lasting relationship with the people you care for especially your partner. The strong connection and attachment to your special someone will need a good foundation. When you are able to apply the important ingredients that are essential in your relationship then it will blossom to a connection that cannot be swayed by serious challenges.

The following are the secret ingredients among couples who have successful and good relationships.

1. Be your Partner’s Motivator: In good relationships, encouraging your partner to be better each day will strengthen the connection between the two of you. When you become your partner’s self-esteem booster, he gains the courage and strength to express his real self. If you are able to reach out to your partner’s heart then you will have an open relationship that will continue to aim for happiness and infinite love.

2. Be Loyal to your Partner: If you want to be one of the couples with good relationships, committing your love solely to your partner must be valued. Loyalty to your partner will pave way to a healthy and happy relationship. You should be strong enough and have faith in your partner’s love so that you will be able to fight temptations around you. When you have this emotion deep in your heart, the love you have for your partner will not wane no matter what the circumstances are.

3. Let your Partner Know What you Think and Feel: Another key ingredient in good relationships is helping your partner understand and be aware of your needs. You should not always assume that your partner knows what is going through your head and what your real feelings are. If you will have this kind of thinking, your partner will have difficulty in figuring out how to make your relationship work. Remember that relationship is not a guessing game; it is about reaching out to one another and letting each other know what your heart is truly longing for.

4. Always Allow Room for Improvement: For a relationship to grow, you should let each other know the aspects where you often encounter problem and have a tough time in overcoming it. Aside from enabling each other to be aware of the problems, there should be an acceptance of these mistakes and openness in improving your role as a partner. When you are willing to deal with your shortcomings, you are allowing improvement, which is an essential aspect in achieving good relationships.

To have a happy relationship, you should not give up easily when your partner lacks the attributes of a perfect partner. You should transform your partner into a perfect one by supporting him, allowing him to broaden his perspective, and letting him know how much you love him. There is no such thing as perfect partner; it is you who will motivate your partner to be perfect.

How To Create A Dream Relationship

No matter how old you are, it is never too late to create the relationship you’ve always wanted to have with your mother and father. In fact, you can do this today even if they are no longer living, so don’t stop yourself from enjoying the satisfaction of a healthy parent-child relationship just because one or both parents is no longer in your life.

Perhaps you have been estranged from your mother or father for many years, and they have rebuffed all attempts to resolve the situation. You can still benefit from following the suggestions outlined in this article.

Remember that the release from stress and tension that you will receive by healing a sad or unhealthy relationship with your parents is one that you’ll enjoy the rest of your life. In addition, learning how to have a healthier relationship with your own parents will help you to be a better parent to your own kids and better friend to other family members.

It’s strange how often we feel tied to behaving the same old way in our relationships, as if the rules are written in stone and we are stuck with them forever more. If you don’t have a loving relationship with your mom or dad (or both), or if you’d like it to be a closer one, go ahead and change the rules! You can do this even if your parents are no longer available to you for one reason or another.

A simple way to begin is by saying: “I love you, Mom…. I love you, Dad.” If your parents are alive, call or visit them today and repeat those words in a heartfelt way. They are incredibly liberating.

If you have lost one or both of your parents and find yourself full of regret over lost opportunities to be closer to each other, you can find special ways now to create a relationship that is loving and warm.

You might wish to light a candle and put on soft music, then quietly talk to your parents as if they are in the room with you. Ask for their support and guidance with a particular problem you have been struggling with. Sit in silence for a moment as you let the answers come to you. Talk to them about what is going on in your life, and tell them you are sorry for the things you did to hurt them in the past.

You may find it comforting to wear jewelry that belonged to one of your parents, such as a watch, or wear a certain color of clothing that was their favorite. Display knickknacks and memorabilia in your home that remind you of your parents and special occasions spent with them. If you have some of your mother’s old recipes, try fixing one of them and thank her for the efforts she made to be a good mom. Read books and listen to music that they enjoyed.

Whether your parents are alive or gone, thank them for all the lessons they taught you, even if you didn’t recognize their value at the time. Forgive them for the mistakes they made, and understand that they did the best they knew how at that time, no doubt driven by their own uncertainties, worries and confusion about being a parent.

When you take the time to be grateful for the parents you were blessed with, you will discover more and more ways to honor them. And in this process, you will discover that it is indeed possible to create the loving relationship with your parents that you always dreamed of having.

Relationship Advice

For most of us love swings into action in a jet set tempo. A whirlwind tour of some distant exotic island. Filled with red hot intensity, with wild episodes of passionate sex. The spine-chilling sensation of discovering someone new is mind boggling. I would like to refer to it as the preliminary stage or the stage of euphoria, where each of you think he or she is the last man/woman on earth. Every word, every touch, every glance seem like magic.

The sheer presence of this person creates a tornado and you are at the vortex. With time however, the intensity mellows. You get to know each other – warts and all. You see sides of the person which you thought never existed. Where is the epitome of perfection ? It is exactly at this stage where most of us go wrong. Because we are looking not only for the right person, but the PERFECT person, a near impossibility. Just look at yourself first. Are you perfect ? no one is on this earth. Sooner we realize this, sooner we stop chasing a mirage, a pipe dream.

Consider this scenario. You have met the person who fits your choice completely. Not only do you find this person physically attractive and a sure turn-on, but intellectually too this person gives you meaningful company. Thus to use this cliché, you have fallen head over heels in “love”. One fine day, the “near perfect” god-sent person starts to annoy you. You find out to your utter dismay that this person has no sense of personal hygiene.

His/her erratic ways, something which you found extremely “cute” is actually extremely dirty. His/her underclothes, wish you never saw them. His/her dresser, makes you wear a mask because of the stink, you turn away, every time he/she opens his shoes, because the sole pair has now a couple of holes in it. And worst of all he/she keeps the toilet open without flushing it !

Enough is enough. Gradually, other flaws get magnified. What about his/her behavior in the presence of other attractive people ? Was there a bit of serious flirting that you noticed ? What do you do under these circumstances ? What action does it demand ? Dump and run for life ? Well, to make a personal view, I don’t think you ought to do that. Yet.

Though these may look like extreme examples that I sighted, but believe me, these can be true also. When we first begin to notice the flaws, the deficiencies or the unexpected becomes expected, we shiver. Many relationships end here and proceed no further from this point. A much-chased dream gets shattered. The romance fall apart like a house of cards.

But if you accept that no one is really perfect, and you too might have certain shortcomings which are abominable also, then you don’t give up. You graduate to the next level of the relationship, with newer challenges as newer horizons open up. A brand new level of intimacy, which is more matured can get trigger after this first crack-down of illusions. Many of us just clam up at this stage, or we resort to anger and irritation. Some of us just vanish and run away into oblivion. If you decide to follow these steps (often may be cowardly), then sorry, you are missing out on a golden opportunity to get elevated to the next grade in the relationship.

Euphoria in any relationship can not be a permanent occurrence. Or it would not be called euphoria in the first place. When euphoric love ends, there begins another phase – the phase of seeking permanency in the relationship. You suddenly ask questions like, can I live my entire life with this person ?

Will she remain exactly the way she is now? Do I want children from her ? How will she be as a mother, and more such. These are very important steps in life for any one. Along with the questions therefore, also creep in fear and insecurity. Very natural thing to happen again. But this whole thought process often throws us off gear, as we were not prepared to face so many questions before.

Quite a lot of us, read too much into this fear and presume it’s a signal of our unprepared ness or an indication for us not to proceed any further. This is because, the moment we start thinking about a person who will feature in our lives very prominently, we become over-cautious and more critical in our views.
While we think and re-think, let us also not ignore the good sides of the person, which made us to come to this stage in the first place !

Learn to enjoy this phase of the relationship – which is replete with possibilities and opportunities. Last but not the least, remember this word “Love” means life-long commitment, a difficult proposition for many. It is a process by which we learn to love ourselves, the person who we are sharing our life with and others around us.

In case both of you decide to carry on with the relationship to walk towards permanency and commitment, remember, this is the most critical time. Love can not survive without adequate nutrients. Its like that little sapling, which can only grow with the help of food and water.

As Erich Fromm wrote in The Art of Loving, published in 1956, “The art of loving is like any craft. It requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith, and practice daily.” The only thing in life that is constant is “change”. Relationships are no exception to this rule., As it changes, it grows, ripens and becomes more stable, weather-beaten and strong.

Maturity in any love does not occur at the press of a button. It takes years, passes through numerous ups and downs, traverses many rivers and oceans before a person can have a “mature” love for another person. Your priorities, in order of preference should be love thyself, then your partner, and then your family.

Is a Dream Relationship

When people are in love, too often they think about making the relationship last for a long time. This is especially true for those who are not yet married but serious in their commitment to each other. It’s natural to do this because getting in and out of one relationship to another can also be quite tiring.

So if you ask whether a person can have the relationship of his or her dreams, the answer is yes, it is always possible. But there are certain factors to consider in order to achieve this. Remember that people have different personalities and it’s only when you get a better understanding of your partner’s character traits that you’ll be able to decide if you’re meant to be together.

A major consideration is to determine the type of behavior you will allow and not allow in your life. In this case, you will have to envision yourself in various situations and learn how to deal with reactions of your partner.

Express yourself. This is one area where many people find difficult to be honest due to certain fears. But this is a mistake because how would your partner know and understand your message if you’re not being honest to yourself and most especially to him or her.

Don’t worry about the negative reaction you will get once you say what you want to say. Just as long as you’re conveying your message across and you’re honest with your thoughts and feelings, there’s nothing to be stressful about.

Another area where you should set boundaries is tolerance. Okay, so you’ve been told to be more tolerant of your partner and accept him or her wholeheartedly. But it won’t hurt as well if you tell him or her that you’re done with the unbearable behavior. Sometimes, it helps that you simply tell your partner that you’re not tolerating a certain trait although you have different values. This is one of the best ways to let you keep your dignity and sanity and earn the respect of the person you love and care about.

Setting boundaries also mean deciding that you’re not going to let another person mess up your life. If, for instance, you’ve been dating someone who’s constantly late or doesn’t show up making you look like a fool, it’s a sign that you’re not being respected. For women, this is most crucial and emotionally stressful but then again, you have to learn to say no. It’s easy for men sometimes to apologize and promise not to repeat the blunder but if they see that you’re lax and not bothered by their behavior, they’re likely to do it again.

Steps to Creating Your Dream Relationship

Millions of singles across the world are looking to create relationship bliss. It takes time. It requires energy. It mandates desire. A lot of people have all that. What they don’t have is a valid and reliable Roadmap to Relationship Success. Whether they’re accessing Yahoo Maps or their personal database–if the information used to create a Roadmap is faulty, they’ll end up lost. If you’re single and feeling lost, here are five easy steps that you can take toward creating your dream relationship.

Step One: Define your belief system

Ask yourself this question–what information have I built my belief system upon? If you don’t have a precise answer, it’s likely that your database is full of faulty information. Thus, the first step toward relationship bliss is to determine what were the sources of information that went into creating your roadmap. For example, if you’re a man and believe that if you rescue a woman, or if you’re a woman who believes that you need to play the role of damsel in distress, then you have based some part of your belief system on a fairy tale. Bad thing to do! Great relationships are created when two strong people work hard to create a loving and beautiful relationship. Rescuers and damsels in distress often suffer from low self-esteem. So, as you define your belief system, which includes morals and values, be on the lookout for useless knowledge that needs to be deleted and replaced with personal truths that will propel you toward creating relationship harmony and success. Create this new information from reality and personal experience, not from fairy tales, movies, and soap operas.

Step Two: Stop doing what you’ve been doing.

Look back at your relationship history. Do you constantly repeat dating rituals and patterns? If jumping into bed by the third date is common practice, has this worked for you? If the answer is “No,” then why do you keep thinking that this will lead to relationship success? I’m a fan of Seinfeld. One of my favorite episodes is when George decides that since everything that he does leads to unhappiness, he will do the opposite of his natural instinct. And, it works! This, of course, is an exaggeration of what I am recommending. But try being “George” for a day–break out of your fruitless habits and try something new. If going to bars to meet people hasn’t worked, then go to a bookstore. If getting physically involved quickly hasn’t worked, then wait. Break a link in your chain of unfulfilling habits. What do you have to lose?

Step Three: Stop running from emotional pain

At a young age, we learn that pain is bad. Documenting knowledge about pain began from the moment you were forced out into this world from your mother’s womb and felt that sharp slap across your bottom. With this slap, you were introduced to a harsh reality of our world: it is full of painful experiences. With every emotional and/or physical painful experience in life, you have the opportunity to write and store knowledge about pain. You add new volumes every year. Moments of unhappiness, confusion, failure, depression, and the act of making the same mistakes over and over, all present the opportunity for you to write and store productive knowledge about pain. The problem is that most people, who continuously struggle in relationships and life, create volumes of identical information about emotional pain. They never take the time to write new lessons about pain. Instead they run off to the next relationship, crawl into a bottle, or numb themselves with drugs. Take time to learn from your emotional pain, don’t run from it–it’s telling you that you’re belief system needs to be updated and you need to make different choices. Think of your emotional pain as an ally and teacher who wants to help you create a happiness. Pain isn’t bad, it’s a necessary experience on the road of personal growth. The great news is that the further along the road you get, the chance of experiencing relationship pain diminishes.

Step Four: Don’t ignore warning signs.

If you have suffered a lot of painful relationship moments, it’s likely that you ignored warning signs that danger was looming. We all want to believe that we have developed good assessment skills and that, for the most part, most human beings are loving and caring. Thus, when we see or experience a relationship moment that doesn’t quite feel right, a lot of us are inclined to brush it off or give the person the benefit of the doubt. Not a good thing to do! If a warning sign appears, don’t ignore it. Rather, play close attention and deal with it. Why spend months or even years trying to create a lasting relationship with someone who is not right for you. Do you really think that you can change them? Do you really think the behavior that led to “red alert” is an isolated incident? Don’t kid yourself. Move on and find someone who doesn’t cause you anxiety and pain.

Step Five: Love yourself first

A lot of people look to others to make them feel like a whole person. You’ve likely heard the expression, “My other half.” I use the expression, “My other whole.” If you’re looking for another person to fulfill you, good luck. Try fulfilling yourself first. Once you feel that you are an empowered individual–that will not accept any inappropriate behavior from a significant other, you are well on your way to relationship bliss. A person who loves him or herself, values him or herself and won’t tolerate anyone treating him/her poorly. Learn to be alone and happy with yourself. Then go out and look for a partner. You’ll likely find that your standards will be far higher and, with that, you’ll attract a whole “new and improved” population of prospective mates.

Attracting a Dream Relationship

Attracting a relationship using a vision board is a hot topic. Today, Mothers day, I was very happy remembering this huge blessing, that manifested for me in 1994, in the area of dream relationships. I still love rejoicing in the “tipping point’ / quantum leap that has brought me to this day and the ability to share with you, my story.

It’s 16 years since the weekend just before I met, my “Dream come true husband” Rand. For me that time really was ” the darkness before the dawn.”

It was a rough weekend I was very sad, as is common when you are alone and attending a family celebration like Mothers day, Easter or Christmas. The reason why I was so sad, was that it seemed all my Mind Power and Treasure Mapping… now called Vision Board, focus was still not manifesting for me. I had manifested so much that was wonderful but still not my biggest most important dream… my life partner.

I had created my “ideal relationship Vision Board, Treasure map,” 3 years earlier and was extremely diligent with my focus and my actions, but getting a little impatient.

The secret to the secret is to maintain focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want and to continue to take actions that will inevitably get you to your dream destination as represented on your personalized Vision Board. But my dream man, was still no where to be found, not even a hint that he was on his way to me and as you can well imagine, it can be tough maintaining focus on what you want, when reality stubbornly, just doesn’t shift. But then… it happened – the quantum leap into this reality.

The very next day, he called – it was a blind date set up by a friend – we met May 12 and yes!… 3 days later May 15 we were engaged. Married in October 1994. And I have been happily loving life ever since! My Dreams manifested bigger and better than I had imagined possible and they still are unfolding magnificently, to this very day from that original Vision board that I created in faith and hope back in 1991.

The Vision board is a powerful manifesting tool, because it works passively at the subconscious level as well as actively the conscious level. Even if you are not as diligent as I was, doing my Mind power exercises most days, it will still work for you.

For some people just creating their Vision Board is the tipping point for them to start living the life of their dreams. The energy has been created, they have taken focused actions and maybe even struggled for a while, growing, developing, learning what works and what doesn’t work… and once they add the visual component… Voila! Reality shifts! The puzzle pieces all fit together and “synchronicity kicks in”… unrelated events suddenly become meaningful co -incidences and you are living your dream life! It happens more often than you may realize, there are many Vision Board achievers, just like me (for 16 years now) who have been living fabulous lives.

This happy ending… no this happy beginning is a testimony to the power of Vision Boards and the awesome “tipping point.” Like Winston Churchill said,“never, never, never, never give up…” you don’t know when you will make a quantum leap into the reality you have been working towards.
You don’t know – your dream life may be around the next corner.

And after the initial excitement wears off – it will seem like it was always this way – it will be so natural to you, you will feel like it was always waiting for you, and it is.

Love your dreams, enjoy your vision board, create it with respect and love it, as it is the the future you are moving towards and soon you will be living your dreams and visions.